Nobody Understands
by Baby Jefer
Summary: From the POV of M&Cs child who has some issues
1. I don't know how to

Nobody Understands Chapter 1 – I don't know how to.  
  
A/N: I haven't written a fic in ages so I thought I should really get back into the swing of things. This is set after the end of Series 10 ( and is M & C. They have a child but Monica was pregnant instead of adopting. This is told through the point of their child, Maddie.  
  
'Honey, guess what? I'm going to have another baby. You're going to have a new brother or sister!...Honey?' I stared blankly in front of me for a few moments. My parents were sitting across from me on the other couch. For a few moments they looked at me and then glanced helplessly at each other. I had to get out of there...and fast. I needed to say something to them. Anything. Then I remembered what everyone said on television when anyone told people they were going to have a baby.  
  
'Congratulations.' With that I swung myself up and over the couch and out of the living room. I ran with the swiftest of ease up the stairs and into my room. Collapsing onto the floor, I pulled my knees tight and rocked back and forth. I couldn't believe it. Mum was having another baby? It had just been the three of us – Mum, Dad and me for the past 9 years and it was good, we had fun together. Why did she have to have another baby? But I knew the reason; they wanted a child who could love them as much as they loved him or her. My parents never told me what it was but I keep on hearing those muttering things about 'social and emotional problems'. I get really scared sometimes because I want to love my mum and dad, really I do. I just don't know how. 


	2. I'm Sorry, I can't

Nobody Understands Chapter 2 – I'm sorry, I can't.  
  
A/N: This takes place immediately after the previous chapter. Sorry the last one was so short, I was just looking for an appropriate place to stop and I thought that was best! The next chapters will be longer.  
  
A few hours later I glanced at my clock and saw it was nearly my bedtime. Deciding that my mum was probably already upset with me, I thought it was best that I get ready for bed. Even though I didn't know how to love my parents I did like pleasing them, especially my mum.  
  
I cautiously opened my bedroom door. I couldn't hear anything upstairs so concluded that both of my parents were still downstairs. I crept along the landing and down the stairs without making a sound, an art I had perfected with lots of practise. All those nights when I couldn't sleep and I would go and sit in the living room. I would just sit in the pitch black not doing anything. My dad found me one night. I think he got quite scared because when I turned to face him it was almost as if I did not recognise him. This all happened before I was 'diagnosed' as it were. Unless someone introduces themselves to me it seems as though I am unable to recognise that person, even if I already know them. I mean, of course I recognise them; I just don't recognise them as a friend.  
  
Halfway down the stairs I can hear my parents' voices coming from the living room. It sounds as if my mum is crying and my dad is trying to comfort her.  
  
'She'll be alright.' 'I hope so. What if she never accepts the baby?'  
  
I hear snippets of the conversation and I sat down on the step behind me, bringing my hands up to my mouth. I was really nervous now. My parents thought I wouldn't be able to handle having a baby in the house. Well I would show them. I would be the best sister anyone has ever seen. But deep down I knew they were right. I am no good with people who are my own age, let alone someone who is completely helpless. And even though I can't show my appreciation to my parents' attention, I love it when they give it to me and hate it when they give it to someone else, even if it is for a few minutes. How was I going to feel with someone who would have their attention for most of the time?  
  
I knew I needed to do some damage control. Carefully walking into the kitchen I looked around for something I could take to my parents. But what? I knew that pregnant women weren't supposed to eat or drink certain things, like alcohol and caffeine. I decided to play it safe and just got my mum a glass of water. That can't harm you can it? For my dad I went all out and climbed up onto the counter to find my secret supply of toffees. You may think it's strange that I keep them in the kitchen where my parents could find them but what I do is move them around every few days so that they will never find them. I grabbed one out, jumped down quietly and made my way into the living room.  
  
I watched for a few moments and then went behind the sofa they were sitting on. They hadn't noticed me come in. I am no good at the sentimental stuff so I just handed my mum the water, dropped the toffee into my dad's lap and then climbed over the sofa to sit between them, reversing the action I had only done a few hours earlier. They ate and drank their gifts appreciatively, even though I could see they were purely doing it out of politeness. My parents are trying to help me and so whenever I show signs of love towards them, they grab hold of it with both hands.  
  
For a while none of us spoke. I could sense they were waiting for me to speak first.  
  
'When is it coming?'  
  
'June.'  
  
I studied my mum for a moment. 'I think it's going to come on the 28th.'  
  
'Is that so?' My mum smiled a little. I know, I know you're really shocked aren't you. I'm really good at things like that though. I can work out when I think a baby is due and most of the time I am right. Once we were on the subway and there was this pregnant lady sitting opposite us. I told her I thought her baby would be born on 23rd December and that it would be a boy. In early January I saw her again and she was holding a bundle in her arms. I asked her when he was born and she told me that he came on the 23rd December.  
  
'Maddie, are you ok with this?' My dad asked gently. I sat for a few moments and then I shrugged.  
  
'I'm never ok with anything am I?' I carried on before my parents said something comforting. 'But I will try...Really I will.' I said when I saw the look on my mum's face.  
  
'I know you will.' She put her hand on my back and I tensed at the gesture. I could see the hurt look in her eyes so I hugged her awkwardly and then my dad. They both hugged me back, clinging to me as if I were a lifeline. Standing up I walked normally out of the room and went upstairs to bed by myself. No one to read me a bedtime story. No one to tuck me in. No one to kiss me goodnight. Not because they don't want to. But because I can't. 


	3. Christmas with the crowd

Nobody Understands Chapter 3 – Christmas with the crowd  
  
A/N: This takes place a few weeks after the previous one. Monica was about two months pregnant in that one and so is now about three months.  
  
It was Christmas time and everywhere everyone was celebrating. Everyone that is, except me. I was sitting in my room doing nothing. Downstairs I could hear my parents moving around. Knowing my mum all the presents had been bought and wrapped in early September. I never got presents for anyone that was my parents' job. A week before Christmas my mum would present me with a load of labels, which I would have to write out. It was always the same – Name, Merry Christmas, Maddie. No terms of endearment would appear anywhere.  
  
I decided it was probably time to go downstairs. My mum had laid out the dress she wanted me to wear. It was red and green tartan, extremely Christmassy. On top were four ribbons – two red and two green. I can do my own hair but my mum can do it so nicely. I grabbed the four ribbons and my hairbrush and went downstairs.  
  
Both of my parents were in the kitchen. My mum was standing by the stove and my dad was getting out the best cutlery and china. He pulled out what he needed. I started to worry when he didn't stop at three.  
  
'Are we having guests?' I asked from my place in the doorway. My parents glanced at each other and then at me.  
  
'Yes, sweetie.' My dad said gently.  
  
'Who?'  
  
'Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel, Emma, Joey, Phoebe, Grandma and Grandpa.'  
  
'Are you going to be ok?' My mum asked me. I knew why she was asking. I'm no good with large crowds. I can cope with about ten people, which is the number of people who were going to be at lunch. But I can only cope if I have some warning. One time I came downstairs to find everyone there. I hadn't been expecting it and spent the rest of the day in my room hiding. My parents tried to get me to come downstairs but I wouldn't, I couldn't. Now they let me know if people are going to come round so I can prepare myself.  
  
I could sense my parents looking at me and I realised that I hadn't answered my mum's question.  
  
'Can you do my hair for me please?' I had to look nice for our guests.  
  
***  
  
My grandparents arrived at midday. They were the last ones since they lived the furthest away. Joey had arrived first. Well, of course he would. He was still the same as he was over ten years ago when my parents lived across the hall from him. Anytime there is food involved you can guarantee that Joey will be the first to arrive. Next to arrive were Uncle Ross, Aunt Rachel and Emma. The two of them got married about five years ago. Emma, my cousin, is 11 years old and is the only person of a similar age who I get on with. She's very calm with me and knows not to take things personally when I'm in one of my moods. Finally there is Phoebe. She's married to Mike but he had to stay home with their son, Nate, who had a stomach bug that day.  
  
I had returned to my room after my mum had done my hair into two plaits. Watching people arrive is a little overwhelming for me so I was waiting until everyone had arrived before I could go downstairs. There was a knock at my door and this face appeared.  
  
'Hey, Maddie, Merry Christmas.' Emma pushed the door open fully and came in. She was wearing a red skirt, black top and stripy tights. She looked about 13. My mum says that Emma acts and dresses far too old for her age. I told her that with a mum like Aunt Rachel can you blame her.  
  
'Hey.' I finally replied, not looking up.  
  
'Are you coming down soon? Everyone is asking for you.'  
  
'Is everyone here yet?'  
  
'No, not yet.'  
  
'Well, then I'm not coming down.'  
  
'But...' Emma began and then stopped. She could see the look in my eyes. The look of anger, fear and hatred.  
  
'Get out!' I screamed. She didn't move so I lunged at her, my eyes blazing. 'Get out!' My face was turning red and my throat was starting to hurt. She ran out of the room and I collapsed onto the floor, sobbing. I could hear her footsteps on the stairs and then voices. A few moments later I heard a different pair of footsteps, this time going upstairs. Immediately I could tell it was my dad. I wasn't in any mood to speak to him, or anyone for that matter. So I quickly closed my door and locked it.  
  
'Maddie?' I could hear his voice through the door. I didn't answer him. Instead, I sat down on my bed, drawing my knees up close. 'Baby, you alright?' He sounded genuinely concerned but still I didn't answer him. 'Lunch is going to be ready soon, ok? I'll see you down there.' It was a few moments before I heard the retreating footsteps.  
  
The voices got louder as I made my way down the stairs. I could tell they were in the dining room so I cautiously made my way towards it. They were all sitting down with a delicious feast spread in front of them. Joey was sitting closest to the lamb, his mouth watering. We never have turkey at Christmas since we have it at Thanksgiving. Also since my mum is Jewish we don't go all out with everything, just a few presents. My dad was standing up, about to carve. Even though my dad rarely helps with the cooking he is the one that always carves the meat. Makes him feel manly, at least that is what he says. I think what he really means is that he doesn't want people to think he has nothing to do with preparing the food.  
  
'Why did Jesus have to be born in the winter?' Aunt Rachel asked, rubbing her arms.  
  
'Actually no one knows exactly when he was born.' Uncle Ross stated. 'Some people believe he was actually born in the summer.'  
  
'Maybe he was born in Australia.' I spoke up from the doorway. Everyone laughed, except for Joey who looked confused.  
  
'Come and sit down, sweetie.' My mum patted the space between her and dad. That was my safety net. I felt secure between them. Sitting down, I looked around at my parents' friends and family. Note I said my "parents' friends". I don't have any friends. They are really nice to me but they can't get close to me. Well, I mean if my parents can't then they would be winning a medal if they could, wouldn't they. 


	4. Secret Passion

Nobody Understands Chapter 4 – Secret Passion  
  
A/N: It is now the middle of January.  
  
I sat at the top of the stairs watching my parents rush around getting ready for work. My dad worked in advertising and my mum was a chef in a top New York restaurant. They had both taken time off work when they found out about my problems and that was about 3 years ago. They couldn't spend forever off work so they decided to go back. They only work three days a week at work though. One of those days they spend with me separately, trying to build up their relationship with me. The other we spend as a family.  
My dad was ready first. He picked up his briefcase and went looking for my mum. He circled the house once and ended up where he started, at the bottom of the stairs.  
  
'I'm off now, sweetie.' He said softly. My mum turned around and grinned at him. 'Don't tire yourself out.' He reached his hand out and gently caressed her stomach. She was about four months pregnant and you could just about see that she wasn't fitting into her trousers anymore.  
  
'I won't.' She told him, placing her hand on top of his. They gazed into each other's eyes. Dad suddenly snapped out of it and bent down to gently kiss Mum's bump.  
  
'Bye baby, I love you.' He smiled briefly and then straightened up. 'Bye, Mon.' He kissed her on the lips and made his way towards the door.  
  
'Am I invisible?' I asked sarcastically from the top of the stairs. I tried not to get angry because I knew that I didn't like all that mushy stuff.  
  
'Course not, sweetheart.' Dad came up the stairs and tried to give me a hug. 'I'll see you later, ok?' I nodded. He turned and went towards the door for a second time. As he opened it Aisha appeared. He greeted her and then hurried out.  
  
'Hello, Aisha.' Mum smiled at her and Aisha nodded her greeting. Putting her coat on, Mum turned to me. 'I'll be back at six but your dad should be back before. Be good.' She kissed my cheek and then left.  
  
Aisha is my tutor. Due to my inability to be in large crowds and to socialise with children of my own age I have to have a tutor. She comes on the three days when Mum and Dad are at work. I do school work from 9 until 12. Then we have lunch and after Aisha goes home and Brian comes. Brian is my social therapist and he helps me learn how to relate to people and to cope in difficult situations.  
  
'Hello, kiddo.' Aisha gave me her usual greeting as she hung up her coat.  
  
'Hey.' I said quietly and stood up. She waited for me to come down the stairs. Aisha knows not to rush me. I don't mind doing the work, actually I quite enjoy it but I don't like to be hassled into anything and I get all bothered and panicky.  
  
I followed her into the study and we sat down. I don't follow a set routine each day because some days I'm in the mood to do one subject more than another. The morning is broken up into three 55 minute sessions with a 5 minute break in between each one. That means I do three subjects a day. I'm supposed to do a certain number of sessions per subject, depending on its importance.  
  
'Alright, Maddie, what will it be today?'  
  
I studied the chart to see what I had already done that week. 'English, History and Art.' I said thoughtfully, after a while.  
  
'Ok, let's get started then.'  
  
I worked solidly for three hours and, if I do say so myself, I worked hard. Even Aisha thought so because I got a sticker in my progress book. My progress book is filled with stickers for good work and behaviour. When I get to ten, I get a little privilege. This could either be a trip somewhere, a present or getting out of doing my chores. My parents get to decide what it will be, depending on how quickly I got to the next ten.  
  
At ten minutes to twelve I put my pencil down and looked at Aisha. She lifted her head up from her book and looked inquisitively at me, wondering why I had stopped.  
  
'Can I show you something?' I asked, beginning to stand. 'It is relevant to art, honest.' I recognised the look on her face. She thought I was trying to get out of lessons early. She gave me permission and I ran upstairs to my room.  
  
I quickly returned with a book. Aisha looked intrigued now. She put her bookmark in and put her book down.  
  
'What's this?' She took the book out of my hands to look at it.  
  
'It's a photography book of New York.' I opened it up and showed her the pictures. As we flicked through I explained about each of the pictures and what I thought the photographer was trying to achieve.  
  
'You certainly know a lot about photography.' Aisha commented, glancing sideways at me. I shrugged and took the book back.  
  
'I love photography and I love New York.'  
  
'I never knew that.'  
  
'No one does. My parents just thought I asked for that book for the sake of it.'  
  
'Have you ever taken any photos?'  
  
'I've taken a few. At gatherings mainly, when Mum has her camera out I borrow it and snap a few pictures. It's no big deal.'  
  
'Can I see them?'  
  
'Sure.' I stood up and hurried back up to my room. This time I returned with a scrap book. I showed her each photograph. On each page was two photos and underneath a description. I had used my best handwriting and decorated the pages.  
  
'I don't have anything better to do.' I explained when I saw the look on her face.  
  
'These pictures are incredible.'  
  
'Thanks,' I said sceptically. I couldn't tell if she was being genuine or if she didn't want me to see me throw a paddy.  
  
'No, I mean it. There's always room for improvement but...there is definitely something there. You've got a great talent for someone your age.'  
  
I smiled, not quite sure what to say. I never do in these situations.  
  
***  
  
The doorbell rang at exactly one o'clock. Aisha and I were finishing off a lunch of sandwiches and fruit. I sat motionless in my chair so Aisha went to answer it. I never answer the door, or the telephone come to that. You never know who could be there. I heard muffled voices so got up to investigate. Brian had arrived and was talking to Aisha as she got ready to leave. He was getting all flustered every time she looked at him. I rolled my eyes; I would have to give him a grilling about this when she had gone.  
  
'Bye, Maddie,' Aisha gave me a wave, 'See you next week. Bye, Brian.'  
  
'Bye.' He managed to whisper. With that the door closed and she was gone.  
  
'Hey, Maddie,' Brian walked past me and into the kitchen. I didn't answer him, instead I watched him with a knowing smile. 'What?'  
  
'You like her.'  
  
'Who?' He looked puzzled.  
  
'Pamela Anderson!... Aisha, you idiot!'  
  
'No I don't!' He was denying it but you could tell from his eyes that he was saying yes.  
  
'Listen, I may not be able to give out the love but that doesn't mean I can't see it. Want me to find out if she likes you?'  
  
'No!'  
  
'Ok, ok. How about if I find out some information about her. Favourite flower, pet peeves, that sort of thing.'  
  
Brian looked sceptically at me for a few moments but I just smiled at him and nodded. Operation Brian and Aisha was in place. 


	5. Break Down

Nobody Understands Chapter 5 – Break Down  
  
A/N: I don't know if any of you thought it was strange that Maddie would have a hobby that her parents would know nothing about. But the way I saw it was that Maddie is quite a secretive person who likes to keep things to herself unless she feel she can really trust a person, which is what happened with Aisha. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. It takes place a few months after the last chapter. I apologise that this chapter is so short! It is an in between chapter and is just basically Maddie's thoughts about Monica's pregnancy and her photography. (I also just wanna say a massive thanks to all the support and reviews – you've been great!)  
  
Mum is now 7 months pregnant and massive. Every time she comes near to me, I can feel her bump digging into me. Dad has become extremely protective of her. He thinks that she has forgotten what being pregnant is like, especially since I was born nearly ten years ago. Earth to Dad – Mum practically wrote the handbook about it! The baby started kicking and every time it does Mum and Dad both go all gooey and get tears in their eyes. When that happens I just bury my head further into my book and pretend not to hear when Mum asks if I want to feel. I don't. I've never been permanently with a pregnant lady and, to tell you the truth, it's pretty scary. All those emotions and strange foods.  
  
They've tried to get me involved with the baby. Giving me opportunities to go to the hospital for the scans, help them choose baby clothes and the equipment that they need, and also be in the discussion for choosing the baby's name. I'm having none of it. I make up these excuses for why I can't. My parents think they are pretty pathetic and so do I. But I can't tell them the real reason.  
  
To help keep my mind off it I have my own project. Aisha came up with the idea after I had shown her my photographs. She had spotted a competition in a photography magazine for Under 16s. You had to pick a favourite subject and take photographs of it. The winner would get a state of the art digital camera and accessories. I was really interested and after talking to my parents and showing them my photographs they finally got on board.  
The subject I had chosen was New York and for this I had to spend a lot of time outdoors where there are big crowds. I thought, as did everyone else, that I wouldn't be able to cope, so we did a few trial runs without the camera. But when it came to it, I didn't notice them when I had the camera in my hand. It was almost as if it were my invisibility cloak.  
  
'Where to now?' Brian asked looking around. We were standing in Central Park. I had just taken some pictures and was putting the camera away.  
  
'Nowhere, my film is full up so I have to go and develop it.' I was borrowing Dad's camera that was years old but I loved it; it made me feel as though I were a proper photographer. To help me get into the whole photography world, I thought it would be a good idea to develop my photos myself. I asked Mum and she was going to get Dad to turn the new nursery into a dark room as I would only need it for a few months before the baby was born. I sneakily pointed out that if it becomes a permanent hobby that I would need somewhere else when the baby came. Fortunately she understood and now the box room is the dark room. I couldn't spend anytime in that nursery, I just couldn't.  
  
Brian looked at his watch. 'We'd better be getting you home. I promised your parents I would have you back by 4.'  
  
'Why?' I asked as we walked along.  
  
'Because they are having that baby party, silly!' He reached over to ruffle my hair but I moved away, scowling.  
  
I kept the scowl on my face all the way and refused to talk to Brian. I just nodded when he said goodbye. Mum, Dad and all their friends were sitting in the living room. They looked up when I entered.  
  
'Hey, we were getting worried about you.' Dad said, smiling at me.  
  
'Yea, right,' I muttered under my breath.  
  
'Look what Uncle Ross and Aunt Rachel bought for us.' Mum nodded towards the corner. I looked to see a crib with a teddy bear inside.  
  
I said nothing so Dad carried on. 'Are you coming in love?'  
  
I looked around at all the faces, all the presents. All those things were for the baby. I shook my head and then turned and went upstairs.  
  
I got halfway up when I felt someone pull at my arm. Turning around, I saw Mum standing behind me, her eyes blazing.  
  
'What is your problem young lady?'  
  
I rolled my eyes and didn't reply.  
  
'Don't give me that. You are being plain rude. I know this is difficult for you and your father and I have been trying to make this easier for you. But you don't take anything that we give you; instead you lock yourself away with your camera in that dark room. You are completely oblivious to anything to do with the baby.'  
  
Mum was really angry. I don't think I had ever heard her that mad before. I saw some slight movement in the living room and I could just tell that they were all eavesdropping on our conversation.  
  
'The reason I spend all that time with my camera is because I'm trying to get away.' I was speaking loudly for the benefit of those in the living room. After all, I wouldn't want them to strain themselves.  
  
'From what?' Mum asked gently. I looked at her and sat down on the step with tears in my eyes. I blinked them away.  
  
'You don't know what it's like to be me. I long to be able to have a proper relationship with people and it kills me that I can't. I hate not being able to have my own friends and that I can't love you and Dad. But when I've got my camera none of that stuff matters. I'm not "Maddie Bing – the social freak", instead I'm "Maddie Bing – photographer". I wish I could take pictures all day long because it's in those moments when I forget who I am and just for those few seconds I can believe that I'm normal. I don't want to enter the real world. I don't want anything to do with this baby because I'm afraid.'  
  
Mum sat down next to me. 'What are you afraid of?' She put her arm around me, I flinched and moved away.  
  
'I'm afraid that I'm going to develop some feelings for the baby and I'm terrified about that because I won't know what to do with them.'  
  
I broke down and cried. Mum encircled her arms around me and hugged me as close as she could. This time, I let her. 


	6. A Moment

Nobody Understands Chapter 6 – A Moment  
  
A/N: For once I actually have nothing to say – shock, shock horror! Well, I do have one thing to say – enjoy!  
  
We're going on holiday. I'm not sure whether I am pleased about this or not, I haven't decided yet. Dad's advertising company is shooting an advert up in Vermont and he's bringing Mum and me with him. The only reason he's taking the both of us is because Mum is 8 months pregnant and he doesn't want to leave her, and he's taking me because he's taking her. I can't stay with other people because they don't understand me and my ways. It's an advert set on a mountain so we're going to be skiing whilst we are there. Well, I will be skiing, Mum will be watching. I've skied before so I know what to do. One of the good things about not being sociable is you get your own instructor and I'm not distracted by others on the slope.  
At the moment Dad is loading up the car whilst Mum is shouting instructions through the window from her place on the sofa. That's typical of Mum, always has to be in charge. I'm in my usual place at the top of the stairs. My suitcase is packed as is my camera bag. I'm hoping to get some great pictures of Dad falling over.  
I can hear Mum slowly getting herself off the sofa. Looking at my watch, I can guess what she is going to say to me. She sticks her head out of the door and looks up.  
  
'Have you packed?'  
  
'Yes.' She's just making conversation before getting to the point.  
  
'Are you looking forward to the trip?'  
  
'I guess.' I shrug my shoulders in a nonchalant way. I can see that she is searching for another question so I stop her. 'Mum, we both know where this is going. The answer is no.'  
  
'Why not?'  
  
'I don't want to.'  
  
'But, honey, you know what you get like on long journeys.'  
  
'Please, Mum, I can do it, I know I can.'  
  
'Sweetie...' She trails off and I know what her answer will be.  
  
'NO!' I scream loudly over and over again and run up to my bedroom. As my door slams I hear Dad come in and then I hear Mum explaining what has happened.  
There's a gentle knock at my door and, when I make no noise, it opens. Dad comes in and looks at me for a few seconds. I can tell he feels sorry for me, I've seen the look a lot of times. I'm curled up on my bed and I'm trying not to cry but not succeeding very well. He sits down on the end of my bed, a movement which is strange for the both of us.  
  
'Honey, your medication...'  
  
'No.' I sob pathetically, getting all worked up again. I hate my medication. Whenever we go on long journeys I always get worked up so the doctor prescribed me a type of medication. It's a sort of sedative and just quietens me down. However, when I do take it, it can take up to 12 hours for the effects to wear off so I walk round like I don't have a clue for the rest of the day. It also makes me feel really weak and pathetic. I can control the rest of my life without pills and tablets, just not that part.  
  
I think Dad understood why I didn't want to take it. 'I'll do a deal with you,' he said after a while. I looked up. 'You don't have to take it now but if at anytime during the journey you get upset you take it then. Do we have a deal?'  
  
I nodded. I could do this, I could make it.  
  
***  
  
I realised about twenty minutes into the journey that I couldn't do it and I couldn't make it.  
  
'How much further?' I whined. I was sitting in the back by myself. Dad was driving and Mum was sitting next to him.  
  
'About 2 hours, sweetie.' Dad said, casting a quick sideways glance at Mum. I groaned in frustration and kicked the back of Dad's seat.  
  
'Hey!' He shouted in surprise. I didn't apologise, instead I kicked Mum's seat. She gasped in shock and then turned around to glare at me. I just glared back and unbuckled my seatbelt, which I am not allowed to do, but at that moment I didn't care. I moved up and down the seat, muttering to myself. There was this buzzing noise, it droned above everything. Mum and Dad were talking but I couldn't hear them, not above the buzzing. My breathing became faster and my throat became dry. I needed to get out of there.  
  
Suddenly I flung myself into the boot where all the luggage was. I found a space and curled up in it. It was at this point that I realised the car was stopped. I don't know how long it had been in that state for. All I could think about was the fact I needed my medication. Suddenly the door opened and a hand passed me a drinks bottle. That was my medication. Sobbing, I lay down and drank it like a baby. It soothed me and soon I fell asleep. Whether it was due to my tiredness or the medication, I couldn't tell you.  
  
***  
  
I awoke to find myself in a bedroom that wasn't mine. It was very simple with a bed, a wardrobe and a door, which I presumed led to the en suite bathroom. Glancing out the window I could see snow and I realised we had arrived. I sat up and rubbed my eyes. My head was a lot clearer than I expected it to be. Normally when I wake up I still feel groggy. Then I realised that I had already woken up. All my clothes were flung around the room and my suitcase was open on the floor. Mum had obviously not been into my room yet.  
  
I decided to go and see where Mum and Dad were. Carefully I got out of bed. I was still wearing the clothes that I had on in the car. I knew I had to change but decided to find them first. The tiled floor was cold on my feet so I grabbed a pair of sock, putting them on as I went. The cabin we had rented was fairly large and only had one level. In the centre of it was a massive living area with a real log fire. The other rooms were situated all around.  
  
I walked out and found Mum sitting on one of the sofas. She looked up and gave me a smile.  
  
'Feeling any better, honey?'  
  
I nod and cautiously sit down next to her, tucking my legs up under me. 'Where's Dad?' I ask, glancing round.  
  
'Oh, he's gone to meet the people involved with the shoot tomorrow. Then they're having dinner. I've got a pizza in for us. I figured you wouldn't want to go out tonight.'  
  
I smiled gratefully. I never like going out after one of my 'episodes'.  
  
***  
  
'What do you want to watch?' Mum asked as she bought the pizza in. I looked up at her in surprise; we hardly ever eat in front of the television. She saw me gaping and winked, 'I won't tell if you don't. I'll never live it down.'  
  
Jumping up I looked at the selection of DVDs that were in the cabin. 'How about Charlie and the Chocolate Factory?'  
  
'That's really old.'  
  
'It's a classic. Then after that, The Wizard of Oz.'  
  
'Ok, ok.' Mum sat down on the sofa with the pizza box and I popped the DVD in. Settling onto the sofa next to her, I reached out to grab a slice of pizza.  
  
For the next couple of hours Mum and I were in chocolate heaven. At one point I thought she was actually going to bite the TV.  
  
'AARGH!' Mum groaned in frustration. 'I can't take it anymore.'  
  
Pausing the film, I got up and went to the kitchen. A moment later I returned with a tub of chocolate ice cream and two spoons.  
  
'God bless you, Madison Bing.' Mum ripped open the lid and stuck her spoon in. However, the ice cream was properly frozen and when she tried to pull it out, it refused to budge and it bent. She stared at it for a moment. I couldn't tell you why but at that moment we both started laughing. Harder and harder, until we were practically on the floor; our sides hurting from laughing too much. I caught Mum's eye and then I realised something. We had had a moment. 


	7. Perfect Day

Nobody Understands Chapter 7 – A Perfect Day  
  
A/N: Thank you all very much for the lovely reviews. BTW – The moment was a good thing! Sorry for the late update but I've been busy with college work (yuck) and other stuff.  
  
We've been up in the mountains for three days and we're having a fantastic time. I think it's been good for all of us, the fresh air and just the fact we're away from everything else. It's mainly been Mum and me because Dad's been busy with the shoot. Fortunately, it finishes tomorrow and then I can go skiing. Mum won't let me go up by myself because she's afraid of what might happen. I keep on telling her that I'll be fine but she won't listen. So instead of skiing I've been wandering around with my camera, trying to capture the perfect image. I'm still working on my project and it is going very well. I'm just waiting to take the last few pictures. I had captured all the pictures I wanted whilst we were on holiday but there was just one more that I needed.  
I woke up before the sun and decided this was the perfect opportunity to get my photo. I quickly and quietly got dressed and then tiptoed into my parents room. I didn't want to tell them what I was up to but I knew if I didn't there would be trouble and I was really looking forward to going out with Mum that afternoon. They were lying in the middle of the bed all cuddled up, Mum was turned in towards Dad and he had his arms wrapped around her. Gingerly, I made my way round to Mum's side of the bed. I tapped her shoulder. She gave an incoherent mumble so I tapped again. After about five times she opened her eyes and looked at me.  
  
'Maddie, what time is it?'  
  
'Early. I need a picture of the sun rise on the mountains.'  
  
'Wha-? Ok, just stay outside the cabin.'  
  
'Thanks Mum.' But there was no need, she had already gone back to sleep.  
  
I grabbed my camera and made my way outside to wait.  
  
***  
  
'Morning!' Dad said cheerfully as Mum finally shuffled out of the bedroom.  
  
'How can you be so cheerful this early?' Mum moaned as she flopped into the chair next to him. She rested her arms on the table and put her head done.  
  
'Well, SOME of us have been up since half 5.' I said pointedly as I ate my cereal. Mum gave me a look.  
  
'I'll get you some breakfast, darling.' Dad jumped up from the table, kissing Mum's head as he did so.  
  
I sighed and went back to my breakfast. When I had finished I put my bowl in the sink and went to brush my teeth. I returned to the kitchen to find Dad just leaving.  
  
'I'll see you later.' He said, kissing Mum and attempting to kiss me. He gave Mum's stomach a rub and then he was gone.  
  
'Are we still going out later?' I asked as soon as he was gone. He didn't know about our expedition as we both knew he wouldn't approve.  
  
'I don't know sweetheart, I rang up the weather forecast and there is supposed to be snow later.'  
  
'Mum, for a 100% reduction on price, I could have told you that.' I quipped. I had definitely got my sense of humour from Dad.  
  
'Yes but snow badly. A storm is coming.'  
  
'Well, why don't we go now? That way we miss the storm and Dad won't need to know.'  
  
Mum looked thoughtfully out of the window. 'I like you're thinking Miss Bing.'  
  
***  
  
Twenty minutes later we were on our way. We had parked our car at the bottom of the mountain and then hired a big 4x4 for getting around. I enjoyed sitting next to Mum as we drove along, she's quite a safe driver and was being very cautious as we went down the mountain. I thought I should tell her so I did. She smiled at me and said nothing; we both knew nothing was needed.  
  
We arrived at the small village at the bottom of the mountain about an hour later. That was how long it took to drive down. I had learnt about the village in one of the 3 million guidebooks Mum had bought. It was the only village around for about 30 miles and it had no chain shops, all of them were individual and unique. There was also an old photographic shop that I wanted to look in.  
  
Mum and I had a fantastic morning shopping. I think we must have been into every shop. We didn't intend to do this but we were so amazed by the first shop that we just had to look in each of them. However, to give us credit we only bought a few things each.  
  
When we had finished, we dragged our shivering bodies into the only eating establishment in the village – Carl's Café. As we sat ourselves down a man, presumably Carl came over.  
  
'What can I get you ladies?' He asked, pulling out a pad of paper and pen.  
  
'One salad, one burger and chips, one water and one chocolate milkshake.' Mum ordered. I looked at her in shock, this was pregnancy was definitely changing her. Before, she would never have allowed me to have burger and chips, let alone a chocolate milkshake.  
  
Our meal came and we ate, mainly in silence but we spoke occasionally. Mum paid Carl and we made our way outside. The snow was coming down much harder than usual.  
  
'Uh-oh.' Mum looked concerned. She looked as though she didn't want to go back.  
  
'It'll probably pass soon and it would be better to go now when it's day light.' I reasoned.  
  
Mum thought for a while. 'I guess you're right. Come on.'  
  
We made our way to the car and jumped in. I turned the heat up full and rubbed my hands together in an attempt to get warm. Mum drove even slower up than she had gone down. I personally thought this was pretty stupid as then the car wouldn't have enough speed and wouldn't get enough traction. I told Mum this.  
  
'Yes, well I would go faster if I could see out of this blasted windscreen.' She said, leaning closer to peer through it. Because of the heat being on she was also talking quite loudly. We couldn't hear anything else. 'I'm going to wipe this.' She reached down for a cloth and proceeded to wipe the windscreen.  
  
Some bright lights were shining straight at us. 'Why are there lights shining at us?' I wondered out loud. Then Mum and I both realised. And it was too late. 


	8. Worth Every Second

Nobody Understands Chapter 8 – Worth Every Second  
  
A/N: Thanks for the great reviews guys. This chapter should be a bit longer. And yes, I am British!  
  
***  
  
I cannot tell you what happened next but when I opened my eyes I saw that we were face to face with a tree. I don't know whether to be thankful for it or annoyed that it was there and made us hit it. I moved slowly and stiffly to glance at Mum. Her head was resting on the steering wheel, from beneath her hair I could see blood trickling down.  
  
'Mum?' I called softly. I daren't shake her, knowing the damage it could do. She didn't reply. 'Mum?' I asked louder. 'MUM!' I screamed.  
  
There was no answer. I stared at her for a moment, the realisation hitting me. And I did something I haven't done in a long time; I cried. I cried and cried till there were no more tears left.  
  
'Mummy, please wake up.' I begged through my sobs, using a name I had never used before in my life. But she didn't; wake up that is.  
  
This was my entire fault. If I hadn't suggested that we go shopping. If I hadn't suggested driving back when we did. If I hadn't turned the heat up so we couldn't hear the other vehicle coming towards us. It was my fault. Dad would never forgive me.  
  
'Dad!' I said out loud, suddenly remembering him. He would have finished work by now and be wondering where we were. Mum's phone was in her bag on the backseat. Gingerly, I undid my seatbelt and reached round to get it. The car started to move. I gasped and froze myself, not daring to even breathe. The car rocked for a few more seconds before finally settling itself.  
  
'What was that?' I wondered to myself. Cautiously, I lowered my window, got an icy blast, and peered out. There I got my answer. The tree was built on the corner of a cliff and our car was over hanging on either ledge. That meant that if I moved the car could go and if Mum moved the car could go. We were trapped.  
  
***  
  
'Ma-Maddie?' I heard Mum's voice croak through the silence. I looked up quickly, wiping the tears from my eyes; I did not want her to see I had been crying. 'What happened?'  
  
'We got run off the road and then we hit a tree.'  
  
Mum nodded and moved to open the door. Before I had a chance to tell her not to do that, the car lurched forward. Mum screamed and grabbed hold of me.  
  
'What was that?' She asked a few moments later once the car had settled.  
  
'The tree is on the corner of two cliffs, our front wheels are over hanging on either side. If either of us moves it'll go over.' I explained quietly. Mum paled, not saying anything.  
  
'Ch-Chandler.' She whispered, her eyes darting around as if she could see him.  
  
'Your phone is on the backseat, I've tried to get it but can't. Probably won't work anyway.'  
  
'Oh God, oh God.' Mum whispered to herself over and over again. She looked absolutely terrified. I thought that was a bit funny because as the child I should be the one going out of my mind, not being calm and sensible. I suppose this is when my feelings become useful.  
  
'Don't worry, it'll be alright.' I said comfortingly, reaching out to smooth Mum's hair down, the way she used to do to me. She smiled weakly at me. 'First, let's get that cut sorted out.'  
  
'What cut?' Mum asked as I rummaged through the glove box for the first aid kit.  
  
'The one on your forehead....Got it!' I opened up the box and proceeded to clean Mum's forehead. I did this in silence, a look of concentration on my face.  
  
'How do you know how to do this?' Mum asked a sentimental look in her eyes.  
  
'I read it.' I answered shortly. Mum nodded and didn't speak again until I had finished. She pulled down her visor and had a look.  
  
'Very nice.' She said approvingly. I smiled at her, not quite sure what to say. I wasn't really used to dishing out compliments so I didn't know how to receive them.  
  
A thought came to my mind. 'Mum?'  
  
'Mmm?' Mum had been lost in her thoughts. She looked up, distracted.  
  
'How did you feel?'  
  
'When?' Mum's brow furrowed. I took a deep breath.  
  
'When you found out about me...When you found out I was...' I trailed off and looked down. Mum went quiet for a few moments a serious look on her face.  
  
'Well you know how long your father and I had been trying for you?' I nodded. I heard this story many times. 'We were so overjoyed when we found out. I remember telling Chandler, Dad, in Central Park and on the way back to the apartment he told everyone that he met that he was going to be a Daddy.' I smiled; I could just imagine him doing something like that. 'When you arrived we did everything for you and we loved you so much, so much more than you could ever know. And when I found out that you could never love me back...' Mum choked back a sob, her eyes filling with tears. 'I was devastated. I had been waiting so long for you and I thought nothing else could go wrong. My life had been screwed up too many times and I thought that was going to be end. I found my Prince and I got my baby, my life was supposed to be perfect.' Mum took a gulp of breath and wiped her eyes.  
  
I had been sat in silence trying to comprehend one of Mum's sentences. Finally, I turned to look at her.  
  
'You think I'm a screw up?'  
  
'Wha-? No I don't.'  
  
'Yes you do. You said "My life had been screwed up too many times".'  
  
Mum paused for a second, not saying anything.  
  
'If I'm such a screw up then why did you keep me? Huh? Why didn't you just make your life perfect like you always wanted?' My voice rose to a high shrill and my throat was starting to hurt but that didn't stop me.  
  
'Because I wanted YOU. No matter what happened, you were my baby girl and I loved you and I still do. I would love you even if you hated me.'  
  
'You know, earlier on you wouldn't wake up and do you know what I did? I cried. I cried because I thought I was going to lose you. I've never cared about anyone that much before.'  
  
Mum looked at me through her tears. 'Before I was pregnant I thought that it was only parents who couldn't bond with the child, not the other way round. I realise that's not the case now. But you know what? I'm the luckiest Mum in the world.'  
  
'You are?' I sniffled. I was confused. 'Absolutely, most parents don't have to do anything to make their child love them but I had to work for it and let me tell you, it was worth every second to hear you say that.'  
  
I grinned at her, my Mum. I now realised that, even though I still had a long way to go, I was beginning to understand what love was.  
  
My grinned faded, however, when I noticed the look on Mum's face.  
  
'Mum?'  
  
'I think the baby's coming.' 


	9. Escape Plan

Nobody Understands Chapter 9 – Escape Plan  
  
A/N: Thanks so much you guys for the great reviews. Soz for the late update...been hectic with work, again! I think this series will be drawing to a close soon so I was wondering if anyone had any ideas of what else I could do a series on. All suggestions will be considered and recognition given, obviously! Ahyhoo, on with the show!  
  
***  
  
I must have turned as white as a sheet because Mum suddenly looked alarmed when she looked at me.  
  
'Y-Y-Y-' I couldn't get the word out. She couldn't be having the baby now; it wasn't due for another month. I wasn't ready for this – one; I thought that I had a whole month to get ready and two; we were trapped in a car at the edge of a cliff.  
  
I swallowed, licked my lips and started again. 'You're not due for another month.'  
  
'I know sweetheart, but the accident must have triggered it off.' Mum gasped and grimaced. She took a few deep breaths and then turned back to look at me.  
  
'How long do you think you have?' I asked, envisioning something...I don't know what.  
  
'I'm sure it'll be a while yet.' She reached over and stroked my hair. I moved myself away with practised ease. I was too much in shock to let her do that. Mum opened her mouth to say something but then closed it, deciding not to.  
  
We sat in total silence for at least an hour. Well, it would have been total silence if it wasn't for the fact that every 7 minutes or so, Mum would have another contraction.  
  
'Do you think anyone's looking for us?' I asked quietly, once her breathing was back to normal.  
  
'I'm sure they are.' Mum said reassuringly, although I wasn't sure if she meant it or if she was just saying it.  
  
'Dad's going to be doing his nut.' I said thoughtfully.  
  
'Probably,' Mum smiled, 'But not as bad as he would be if he knew I was in labour.'  
  
Mum and I burst into a fit of giggles as we pictured Dad running around like a headless chicken. A few moments later I stopped.  
  
'What is it, darling?' Mum asked, taking a few deep breaths as she calmed herself.  
  
'Dad's going to blame me.'  
  
'No, he isn't.'  
  
'Yes he is. I made you take me down to the village and if I hadn't of done – this wouldn't have happened.'  
  
Mum gently placed her hand on my chin and made me look at her. 'I could have said no, you know. You didn't hold a gun to my head. This isn't anyone's fault.'  
  
'Maybe that guy in the other car.' I said after a while.  
  
'Yea, he was a bit of a jerk wasn't he?' Mum said with a grin. 'I mean, I can't believe he didn't go and get any help. If I was him I would just wish the ground would swallow me up.'  
  
'That's it!' I suddenly shouted out.  
  
Mum looked at me, surprised at my outburst. 'What's "it", honey?'  
  
'I don't know why I didn't think of it before.' I opened up the glove-box and found what I was looking for – a pair of scissors and a screw driver. 'Brian has the exact same car as this.' I told Mum as I began to score along the bottom of the foot well with the scissors. 'I know because I was with him when he bought it from the car showroom.'  
  
'That's nice but what's that got to do with this? And why are you wrecking the inside of the car?'  
  
I finished attacking the carpet and pulled it up to reveal a hatch. Mum peered over and then grinned when I began to unscrew the bolts that held it in. Soon a blast of freezing cold air came in as I lifted the hatch and came face to face with the snow.  
  
'Now your turn.' I told Mum, handing her the scissors and screwdriver. Obviously it took a lot longer for her to do it because her bump was getting in the way and she had to stop every now and then for a contraction.  
  
By the time she had finished I was really getting quite cold. I knew we had to go in a few moments but that we also needed Mum's bag. I didn't really care about the shopping bags in the boot. 'Right, what now?' Mum asked breathlessly, just finishing another contraction. They were getting really close together and seemed to be getting more painful.  
  
'In a moment you're going to lower yourself through the hole and I'm going to grab your bag and then go out.'  
  
'Honey, I'm not sure...' Mum looked quite scared for me and I felt touched.  
  
'Mum, trust me.' I said as she began to prepare herself. 'Now once you're out and I'm out, I need you to take the handbrake off and then lie down quickly as possible.'  
  
Mum nodded and began to lower herself down. I turned around and grabbed Mum's bag and then quickly followed suit. The car shuddered around a bit and then settled. I looked at Mum and nodded, lying down. She gulped hard and then took the handbrake off, lying down immediately afterwards. There was a slight rumble and then a creak. Finally a snap as the car pushed itself at the tree and it broke. The car drove itself over the top of it and down the cliff.  
  
It must have been at least 30 seconds before we heard the crash below, a sickening noise in the otherwise silent night. I closed my eyes and imagined that it had been us still in the car as it went over. The image replayed over and over in my mind. Tears came to my eyes but I blinked them away. I knew Mum was thinking about the same thing because I could hear her crying. For the next few moments we both lay there in the freezing snow, not caring that we were on the age of the cliff, not caring that we were getting colder by the second and not caring that Mum was about to give birth at any time. All we cared about was each other and Dad. Yep – both of us cared. 


	10. Part of the family

Nobody Understands

Chapter 10 – Part of the family

A/N: Sorry for the long wait – been busy with college and stuff. Anyhoo, thanks for all the great reviews guys, I absolutely love them! Keep them coming and I'll keep the story coming.

'M-Mum?' My teeth chattered with cold and I turned my head to look at her. Her breathing had become shallower and her skin was turning blue. 'Mum, we've got to get up and start walking.'

'I-I don't think I can.' Mum sounded vague and distant. This wasn't good, Mum was giving up and she never did that. I needed to help her.

'Yes you can, Mum, yes you can. You can't give up now – you've got Dad, me and a baby who love you so much and....' I trailed off when I saw her looking at me. 'What?'

'You said you loved me.'

I grinned, realising that I did. 'Yea, I do.' I said softly but then stopped smiling and frowned at her. 'But only if you get up and start walking. NOW!'

I got up and then helped Mum up. Putting our arms around each other we slowly made our way back towards the road and away from unstable ground.

I was also looking for a suitable place to stop so that we could see if Mum's phone still worked. We finally reached a small cluster of fir trees and made our way inside. It was considerably warmer so we pulled a load of branches off the trees and sat on them, preventing us from getting even colder. Mum opened her bag and pulled her phone out.

'Any luck?' I asked.

'Nope, shouldn't be surprised though.' She snapped it shut and put it back in her bag. 'AAARRGGH!' Mum screamed out in pain as another contraction washed over her. This was one of the worst labours ever. She wouldn't have any pain relief, she was in the middle of the snow and the baby was coming early. I felt terrible but I knew how to help her. Grabbing her hand I patted it gently to get her attention.

'Mum, Mum...breathe!' She stopped hyperventilating and started to take deep breaths – in through the nose and out through the mouth. 'That's it – breathe, breathe....breathe....Feel better now?' I asked when the contraction had finished.

Mum smiled, 'Yes, thank you. I don't know how much longer I can hold out.'

I was about to tell her that I was sure it would be after someone rescued us when another contraction started up.

'Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!' Mum repeated over and over. She was leaning against the tree with her chin on her chest and her legs drawn up, almost as if by making herself small it would stop it from hurting so much. I could tell that it wasn't going to be much longer and I think Mum did too.

'Honey, I think – I think the baby is coming.' She gasped, almost apologetically.

'I know, Mum. You can do this.' I said encouragingly. In any other situation this would have been embarrassing but now wasn't the time. I had to do this. 'Come on Mum, push...push! That's it...come on. It's nearly out...You've done it!'

Mum sighed in relief and leaned back against the tree as her new baby began to cry. I cut the cord with my penknife and pulled my coat off and then my jumper. Wrapping the baby in the jumper I handed it to Mum.

'Hello, little one.' Mum said cradling the baby close, I could see the tears dripping down her cheeks and landing on the baby's head.

'Careful, you're making him all wet.' I joked.

'Did you say "him"?' She asked and I nodded. Mum gave me a small smile and then continued to stare at her new son. I didn't blame her really; he was rather cute...for a boy anyway.

'MONICA! MADDIE!' We both jumped, startled from our revere. The voice sounded like it belonged to Dad. Scrambling to my feet I rushed around the trees to find myself face to face with my father. His shirt was undone and his tie pulled away from his neck. His hair was scruffy and he looked like he'd been crying.

For a few moments we just stared at each other, not entirely sure what to do. The emotions of the day must of caught up with me because I broke down into tears and ran into his arms.

'It's ok, baby...I've got you.' He pulled me close, enjoying the moment as he was probably unsure if he would ever get the chance again.

'I'm sorry, Dad,' I wailed, 'it's my entire fault. If I had never pestered Mum to take me out we wouldn't have been driving up the hill and we wouldn't be here now!'

'Sweetheart, I don't blame you – I'm just so glad that the two of you are safe.'

I broke away from him; I had completely forgotten that he didn't know about his new child.

'Er...Dad? You might wanna make that three.'

Dad's face paled. 'S-She...She's had the baby?'

'Yep, a boy.'

Dad started tearing again and quickly walked in the direction of the trees. I decided to give them a few minutes.

Sitting down on a rock I took a few deep breaths. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was starting to feel something for my parents and my little brother. I wasn't sure about it but I was very glad that it was finally happening.

I rounded the tree to find Dad sitting next to Mum, now cradling the baby. There were two paramedics with them now. I must have been so deep in thought as I did not see them arrive. They looked so happy now, their family was finally coming together.

This was getting just a bit too mushy for me. 'Look, guys...when he's wrecking my room, I will need to know what to yell at him!'

Mum grinned and glanced sideways at Dad. 'His name is Connor Daniel Bing.'

I nodded approvingly then grabbed a camera. This was a perfect shot.

'Smile guys!' I said and the two adults grinned at the camera.

'Honey, is that your main camera?' Mum asked me.

'Er, no...I must have left it in the car.'

'Sorry, darling...that had all your pictures on.'

'No biggie – I'd much rather enter the adult competition in about 7 years. I've got a really good idea for a subject.'

And I really did.

A/N: Ok, guys – next one will be the last so get reviewing!


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